


Stan's Guide to Colors

by Amydiddle



Series: Stan's Guides [2]
Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Relativity Falls, Gen, I just had to put it in, Mabel's Guide, Slight FiddAuthor, Stan stop hurting yourself in the name of art, Stan's Guide, color is evil, it is a childhood crush kinda deal, it isn't good for you son
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-05
Updated: 2016-09-05
Packaged: 2018-08-13 03:48:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7961287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amydiddle/pseuds/Amydiddle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everything you need to know about colors! The history, how it impacts people, and how it can be used as a deadly weapon! Join Stanley Pines as he educates you about color and teaches you exactly why it should be hated!</p><p>*Note to self: ROY-G-BIV-a-tron needs to be destroyed*</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stan's Guide to Colors

**Author's Note:**

> Based of the Relativity Falls Au where Stan Twins switch with Mabel and Dipper. I tried to write it in the format in which the official Mabel's Guides appear in. This one and going as far as to parody an actual one.
> 
> Now enjoy. Apparently I am making more of these. *Not Edited*

Stanley was laughing.

He had been laughing for what Ford would say was over an hour. Just laughing straight into the camera that he had set up in their attic bedroom. His brother had given him no explanation to why he was laughing when he had walked into the room, or why the camera was set up. Ford had just accepted it as one of his twin’s weird things and sat down on his bed to flip through a book on code breaking.

Finally, Lee stopped.

“And that’s been Stanley’s Guide to laughing for an uncomfortable amount of time.”

Ford looked over his book, relief spreading over his face at the thought of finally getting relief from his twin’s weirdness.

“Uh oh,” Stanley said, moving his hands from his hips to his still grinning face, “Here comes more!”

Ford’s hope for peace and quiet was dashed as Stan started up again, laughing in his weird way as if he had seen the funniest thing ever. Stanford sent a pleading look at help to the camera before hiding his face behind the book with a pitiful groan.

* * *

* * *

The opening sequence was a remix of Stan’s name over preppy music, almost sounding like the early 2000s videos they would play to elementary school children. It accompanied random clips of Stanley doing seemingly random things that probably from earlier instructional videos the child had made.

The opening ended to reveal a piece of paper still wet with paint pinned to a blank wall; the painted words reading ‘Stanley’s Guide to Color’. It stayed on the image for a few seconds before flipping to Stanley sitting in a dark room next to a projector.

The child wearing his sweater today, it was a darker grey material and had a prism reflecting a rainbow on the front of it.

“Ah color,” Stanley said, a wistful look on his face, “It is all around us; from the green of a nauseous twin brother after three rides on a really spinny ride on the boardwalk.”

With a click of a button the projector went from being blank to showing a picture of a very green Stanford Pines clutching his stomach as he stumbled off a very intense looking ride.

“To the bright red of an old lady’s lipstick,” Stanley continued, another click showing his great aunt smiling at him with red lipstick on her lips. “To the pink of a nerd being caught staring at another nerd for too long.”

The projector changed pictures to a red faced Fiddleford McGucket ready to hit the camera out of the hands of the person behind it. Stanford sitting across the table, looking up from the book he had in his hands obviously confused on what was happening between his brother and his friend.

“Stanley! You said you destroyed that photo!” Fiddleford said from behind the camera, moving into frame so he could take that slide out of the projector.

“But you look so cute, how could I throw it out,” Stanley teased, laughing when the slide was thrown at his face. Sticking his tongue out at his friend behind the camera before continuing with his presentation.

“Anyway,” Stan said, addressing the camera again. “The world wasn’t always this wonderful and colorful. According to history the world used to be in black and white.”

With a click the blank screen changed to a black and white newspaper photo depicting the Great Depression.

“You see, color hadn’t been invented until a magic wizard named Crandolf the Fabulous came and bestowed it upon our world!” Stanley said, the picture changing to now show a crayon drawn wizard puking color onto the sad scene.

“I don’t think that is how it happened, Stanley,” Fiddleford said from behind the camera.

“Course it did, Grauntie Mabel said so.” Stan shot back, “And she is always right.”

“I don-“

“So, I went around to ask what everyone’s favorite color was! Let us see what they had to say!”

* * *

* * *

The image changed to Pacifica Northwest standing next to her son, Preston, in the mall. Pacifica smiled at the camera, showing off her favorite color with the outfit she was wearing.

“Hot pink,” she said, a small flip of her hair. Her son next to her just glared at the camera, not saying a word.

**~~~~~~**

The clip changed again to Susan Wentworth smiling at the camera kindly while sitting in the diner, a thoughtful look on her face.

“Well, I would have to say violet. It always has had a certain charm to me,” she said, a smile on her face.

**~~~~~~**

It switched this time to Fiddleford sitting out on a stump in the forest, his eyes watching something just out of the camera’s gaze.

“Ford,” he said, a little smile on his face before it changed to more of a confused expression as he looked at the camera. “Wait what was the question again?”

Stan giggled behind the camera, “Oh nothing, I got what I needed.”

“Stanl-“

**~~~~~~**

The image changed before Fiddleford attacked Stanley, showing Stanford Pines standing in the attic bedroom. A map was spread out on his bed but he had his eyes on the camera that was directed towards him; a thoughtful expression on his face.

“I have always found maroon to be quiet nice, despite our parents always buying me blue things.”

**~~~~~~**

Maria appeared next, leaned against her broom, and scratching her head. A smile coming onto her face when she seemed to make a decision. “I like a buttercup yellow, it is very pretty and happy.”

**~~~~~~**

Another switch showed a plaid covered room with five read heads dressed in the same color plaid sitting across the couch. The tallest being a woman, accompanying her were her three daughter and one son known as Dan. The boy smirked at the camera, winking at the person holding it.

“Flannel,” he said, crossing his arms.

**~~~~~~**

The clip changed to the camera laying on the ground and the distinct shouting of an unhappy southerner. Someone picking up the camera to show the fight that was happening on the front lawn of the Mystery Shack. Stanley Pines was running away from a fuming Fiddleford H. McGucket as fast as he could.

“What are you guys fighting about now?” Stanford’s voice asked from behind the camera, “I leave to observe a pixie and I turn back to this!”

“Ford save me from your crazy southerner! He has gone rabid!”

“I’ll show you rabid, Stanley Pines!”

“Fiddleford no-“

**~~~~~~**

Gompers bleeted at the camera, subtitles coming across the bottom of the screen to read ‘Burgundy’. The goat moving in to try and eat the device.

"No, you silly goat. Camera's aren't food," Stan giggled behind the camera, pushing his pet away. 

**~~~~~~**

“Rainbow, all the colors are important,” Mabel said, adding more glitter to one of her displays and smiling at the camera.

“Really?” Stan asked from behind the camera’s view. Mabel just nodding her head and leaning against the counter with a smile.

“Yep, color makes the world go round after all. Real question here is what is _your_ favorite color, Stan?”

The boy went silent, letting his great aunt take the camera to show him in deep thought. Suddenly, a look of horror struck him.

“I don’t think I have a favorite color!”

“What? Really,” she asked, sounding shocked. “Not even rainbow?”

“I don’t know; I have never seen one! This is a color emergency! I need to fix this!” With that he ran out of the room, a few seconds later coming back to take the camera back from his great aunt with a sheepish smile on his face.

* * *

* * *

Stanford and Fiddleford sat on Ford’s bed in the attic, Gompers sitting on the ground next to the bed chewing on some sort of paper. The two humans stared at the boy behind the camera.

“Guys! This is a big emergency! I just realized I don’t have a favorite color or seen a rainbow! I live at the beach, how have I never seen a rainbow!”

Ford glanced at Fiddleford, both of them sharing an expression of confusion before looking at the third member of their little group.

“Stan, this isn’t as big a deal as you are making it out to be,” Ford said, “A lot of people haven’t seen a rainbow before.”

“Yes, Ford, but I don’t plan on being one of those people!” Stanley said, pointing at his brother, “I need ideas people, how can I see one!?!”

Fiddleford scratched his chin, reaching behind him to grab a pencil and paper that were scattered across Stanford’ bed. His right leg bounced a little as he drew out his plans, turning the paper around to show Stanley.

“If we reflect the rainbow from the falls into the house, I reckon you could see one that is strong enough to see all the colors.”

“Why couldn’t he just go to the Falls and-“

“I love it, Fidds! Great Plan!” Stanley interrupted his brother, jumping up from his seat. “Come on, we need to go steal a mirror!”

The camera was left on the bed, pointing at the other one as Fiddleford hopped off to follow Stanley out of the room. Stanford just stayed seated there with a confused look on his face.

“If he just went to the Falls with us he would be able to see the rainbow!” He shouted after them as they left the room, “Or we just use the prism we found in that extra room! Come on, guys, think! This is over complicated!”

The camera cut into static just as Stanford stood up from the bed. The image refocusing with Stanley smiling at the device before moving back so it showed that he was standing in his great aunt’s office.

“Okay, guys, we are about to launch the full power of the ROY-G-BIV-a-Tron into Mabel’s office so I can finally witness a full powered rainbow!”

A grin was bright on his face as he moved towards the closed shades, an excited look on his face. With a pull of the string the blinds went up and Stanley fell back with a cry as the full blast of the rainbow came steaming through.

“No! Why! Why is this happening!” Stanley cried, covering his eyes, “Color burns! My eyes are melting!”

Something on the desk caught fire while Stanley was lamenting his pain, obviously they reflected the rainbow a little bit too well. The video cut just as the fire began to grow and Mabel ran into the office with sunglasses over her eyes and a fire extinguisher.

* * *

* * *

 

When the camera turned back on Stanley had bandages wrapped over his eyes and was frowning at a wall. Fiddleford kneeling next to him on the bed as he tightening the bandages around the boy’s eyes.

“Are you sure you don’t want Ms. Pines to take you to the doctor?”

“No,” Stanley protested, “They will just ask what we had been doing and laugh at us and then I will get the lecture about not wearing my glasses.”

“You really should wear your glasses, Stanley,” Stanford said from somewhere out of frame.

“Shut it Ford,” Stan snapped, moving his head in the direction his brother’s voice had come from. “Is the camera on again?”

“Yes,” Fidds said, finishing with what he had been doing with the bandages. Carefully, the teenager moved Stan’s head so he was facing the camera.

“Well, guys, that is it for today. I think we have learned something really important today, color is evil and should be feared.” Stan said, a grave look on his face, “Join me next week as I show you all the tips and trips to walking around blind!”


End file.
